Chapter 86

Alexander picked up a blank sheet of paper and a pen. He started reviewing the material with Evelyn, without using any textbooks. He just explained and drew diagrams on the white paper. Evelyn listened with intense focus, terrified of missing a single point. Alexander spent two hours reviewing the multivariate statistical analysis course for her. His explanations were mixed with countless insults about her being an idiot with an IQ deficit. If this were the first time she had been scolded so harshly, Evelyn would have considered hanging herself with a piece of noodles to avoid lowering the average intelligence of the population. But after the last experience, Evelyn had become immune to Alexander’s insults. She even comforted herself by pretending he was praising her. For example, “fool” became “beautiful,” “idiot” became “elegant,” and “IQ deficit” became “devilish figure.” So when Alexander helped her review, Evelyn felt relaxed and calm instead of nervous. Alexander stopped and stared at Evelyn. Evelyn didn’t hear his voice anymore. She turned her head and looked at him in confusion, then followed his gaze. Alexander studied her like she was some kind of monster. After a long pause, he said, “It’s a miracle you haven’t been eliminated by natural selection!” Evelyn was stunned for a moment before she understood what he meant. She wasn’t angry. Instead, she smiled and said, “That just shows how resilient I am! Like grass—give me a little soil and water, and I thrive!” Alexander was rarely speechless. He just muttered that the world was clearly suited for shameless people to survive. Evelyn thought Alexander’s review session was exhausting, so she decided to tell him a joke as a reward. “Alexander, can I tell you a joke?” she asked sincerely. Alexander glanced at her but said nothing. Taking his silence as agreement, Evelyn cleared her throat and began enthusiastically. “A gecko got lost outside a stock brokerage. Just then, a huge crocodile crawled over, ready to eat it. In a panic, the little gecko grabbed the crocodile’s leg and yelled, ‘Mom!’ The crocodile was stunned, then burst into tears. ‘Oh no, I’ve only been trading stocks for two weeks, and I’ve already lost this much weight!’ Ha ha...” Evelyn laughed first. After a while, she realized Alexander wasn’t laughing at all. She was just laughing like an idiot by herself. Alexander replied coolly, “You must be blind?” Evelyn was speechless. This man had absolutely no sense of humor! “Or you can tell me a joke,” she said, pouting to save face. She secretly decided that no matter how funny Alexander’s joke was, she wouldn’t laugh. That way, she could prove he wasn’t funny at all! Just thinking about it made her want to laugh. “Evelyn, you look so pale,” Alexander said slowly, staring at her. “You’re not the first to say that. I’ve had great skin since I was a kid. My mom even said I must have been switched at birth, because I don’t look like her or my dad!” Evelyn replied triumphantly. “Good thing you weren’t switched. If your whole family was this pale, survival would be a problem,” Alexander shot back. Then he got up to refill his tea cup. “Huh?” Evelyn looked at him, confused at first. When she finally understood his words, she muttered in protest, “I asked you to tell a joke, not insult me! That’s just mean!” Alexander glanced back at her but didn’t bother to comfort her. He just stood by the window with his cup, drinking tea and looking outside. After a while, he asked, “Evelyn, where do you want to go?” “Go where?” she asked. “On our honeymoon trip.” “I haven’t thought about it yet,” Evelyn said grumpily. Actually, she wanted to go to many places. But calling it a honeymoon changed everything. She didn’t think she and Alexander needed a honeymoon. Alexander looked at her but said nothing more. “Do we really have to go on a honeymoon?” Evelyn asked instead. “You don’t want to go?” he asked. “I haven’t thought about it.” “Don’t overthink it. Just treat it like your graduation trip.” “Really? I want to see the colorful pools at Jiuzhaigou, stay in a wooden cabin in Sanya, walk the plank road on Huashan, see the ice sculptures in Harbin, and watch the sunset in Tibet...” Evelyn gushed. “We might be short on time. We can visit two places first. The rest, we’ll go later,” Alexander interrupted. “Oh, I need to think about it!” Evelyn replied with a smile. Alexander nodded. “Yes. Will you come with me then?” Alexander raised his eyes to her, clearly looking at her like she was an idiot. “Forget I asked!” Evelyn waved her hand awkwardly. What she really wanted to say was whether she could go on her own honeymoon trip. Then he could take his real lover and spend a proper honeymoon. She had nothing to do with it. But after seeing Alexander’s expression, she swallowed the words back. Forget it. She’d decide later. Evelyn picked up her phone, checked the time, and asked, “Should we go back to the apartment and cook, or eat at home?” “It’s up to you,” Alexander said. “Let’s go back and cook,” Evelyn said hesitantly. “You don’t like staying here?” Alexander turned his head and asked. “No, it’s just a little tense,” Evelyn shook her head. Alexander put down his tea cup and said faintly, “Let’s go back to the apartment.” “Okay!” Evelyn replied excitedly, immediately packing her textbooks and phone into her bag. Alexander watched her actions, amused. Anyone watching would think she was escaping from prison. She couldn’t wait to leave. Evelyn carried her bag and followed Alexander downstairs. Alexander put his hand behind his back. Evelyn’s eyes widened as she stared at his hand. Was he asking her to hold it? Alexander kept his hand behind him, not pulling it back. Evelyn tentatively reached out and grabbed his fingers. The next second, his whole hand enveloped hers. Evelyn looked up to meet his gaze, her face flushing red. Embarrassed, she lowered her head and silently followed him. She couldn’t help complaining internally. There was no one around to see this! Was it really necessary? “I want to eat spicy beef for dinner,” Alexander suddenly said. “Huh?” Evelyn looked up at him, startled by the sudden change of topic. “You can’t do it?” he asked again. “No, but I can look up a recipe and learn right now!” Evelyn said slowly. “Then try to make it.” “Okay!” Evelyn nodded. After a few steps, she regretted adding to her workload. Otherwise, everything would have been fine. “Why do you suddenly want to eat spicy beef?” Evelyn asked curiously. “I just thought of it,” Alexander replied lightly. “You’re acting like a pregnant woman!” Evelyn couldn’t help muttering.